Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
