ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
