I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
