You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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