What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
