Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
