the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize