Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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