You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
