I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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