I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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