Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
