is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
