yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
