he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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