DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
