she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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