Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
