What a fucking waste of an outfit
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
