Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
