just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dick very happy bro
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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