I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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