Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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