we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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