i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
