Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
