you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
