Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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