So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
