5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
