I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
