Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
