She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My vagina is very pro this idea
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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