we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
