Sponge bath it is.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
