We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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