going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
