Sry I called you an 8
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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