just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
