So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
