just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
