so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
