My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
