Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize