saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
