whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
