She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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