Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
