THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
