If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
