He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
