R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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