you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
