Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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