I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize