im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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