I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
