can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
