I could have mohawked her pubes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
