therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
