I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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