we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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