am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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