When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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