I just found puke in my bra..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
