His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
