How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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