I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
