I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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