Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.

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(305): View more from Florida

Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off

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(318): View more from Louisiana

When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas

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(701): View more from North Dakota

i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.

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(212): View more from New York

hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...

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