Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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